Prayer Doesn’t Have to Be Intimidating
“Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 CSB
Talk to most men about prayer and the response is usually the same. They say something along the lines of: prayer is uncomfortable, it’s hard, we don’t know what to say, we run out of words, we start praying and two minutes in we’re repeating the same lines we started with. When it comes to the idea of praying constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17), most Christians are filled with shame rather than delight. Prayer feels like an obligation we’re failing at rather than a place of refuge to run to.
Could it be that the reason we feel shame when we consider prayer is because of what we think prayer is?
What Prayer Isn’t (And What It Is)
If your definition of prayer is an interdimensional monologue addressed to a God who is far off, then it makes sense that prayer would be difficult and intimidating.
If prayer is drawing your attention to and making yourself at home with the God who dwells within you? If it’s having a conversation with God about your real life and world and partnering with Him in what he desires to do? Suddenly, it gets a lot easier.
Consider how prayer works in Scripture:
When you read the Gospels, Jesus is constantly getting away to pray, and it feels like it’s more about “being with” than “talking to” God. He withdraws to lonely places. He spends whole nights on mountainsides. He’s not performing—he’s abiding.
When you read Exodus and see Moses’ prayer life, Moses’ interaction isn’t a monologue—he’s having a conversation with God in his presence. God speaks, Moses responds. Moses asks questions, God answers. It’s a relationship, not a ritual.
When you read Paul’s letters, he frequently references his prayers for the church and talks about being filled with thanksgiving and mentioning things to God about the people he loves. His prayers are specific, personal, and flowing naturally from his life.
When you read the Psalms, the writers ask God questions, wait in silence, process the circumstances of their lives with God, and much more. They bring everything to him—their fear, their anger, their confusion, their joy. Nothing is off-limits.
Coming Boldly, Not Perfectly
Brothers, God is not judging your prayers from heaven like a teacher grading a second-grader’s oral report in class. That’s not the way relationships work. He’s a loving heavenly Father who wants you to boldly enter his presence and just be with him.
The writer of Hebrews tells us to approach “with boldness.” Not with perfect words. Not with eloquent phrases. Not with a certain posture or tone. With boldness. With confidence. Like a son coming home to a father who’s been waiting for him.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to clean yourself up first. You don’t have to sound spiritual. You just have to show up.
Think about your relationship with your closest friend or your wife. Do you stress about finding the perfect words every time you talk? Do you rehearse conversations in your head, afraid you’ll run out of things to say? No. You just talk. You share what’s on your mind. You ask questions. You sit in comfortable silence. That’s what relationship looks like.
Prayer is the same. It’s not a performance—it’s a relationship.
A Place to Start
If prayer feels intimidating, start simple. This week, try using ACTS as conversation starters with God—not as a formula to check off, but as a natural way to engage with him:
Adoration: Tell God what you appreciate about who he is. “God, I’m grateful that you’re patient with me.” “Father, I’m amazed by your creativity when I look at creation.”
Confession: Be honest about where you’re struggling. “I’m angry right now and I don’t know what to do with it.” “I messed up this morning with my wife and I need your help.”
Thanksgiving: Name the good things he’s done. “Thank you for providing for my family.” “I’m grateful for the men in my small group.”
Supplication: Ask for what you need and bring others before him. “Would you help me love my kids well today?” “My coworker is going through a hard time—would you meet him?”
But remember: this isn’t a script. It’s a starting point. Let the conversation go where it needs to go. Sit in silence if that feels right. Ask questions. Wait for his response. Be present with him.
“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.” Psalm 62:1 ESV
Takeaway: Prayer isn’t about perfect words—it’s about being present with a Father who loves you.
Question for Reflection: What has made prayer feel intimidating or obligatory for you? What would change if you thought of it as simply being with God?
Practice for Growth: Take a deep breath, remember that you’re just being with God, and spend 10 minutes this week in unhurried conversation with him. No agenda, no checklist—just you and your Father.