Navigating The Ride Milestone: Weekend Get-A-Way Celebration
The life of a preteen means there are some important changes on the horizon and discovery of their own faith. Navigating the Ride is a milestone designed to set the tone for the ride ahead. These formative, preteen years should feel fun and enjoyable, like learning to navigate a new trail on your next adventure. Together we hope to help you and your preteen enter the teen years having a healthy, meaningful relationship with God, you, and others.
Tell Me, What is This Phase All About?
This phase is about learning to trust each other. You are practicing letting go of the big and running beside them as your preteen gains experience having tiny bites of freedom and responsibility. Preteen years are an ideal time to prepare your child for the changes that are coming, which is why we’ve created Navigating The Ride on the Parent Pathway. Many parents fear the teenage years and avoid discussing and equipping their child for this significant transition.
Put It Into Practice
The best way to prepare your child for adolescence is to set the stage. A mother with her daughter, a father with his son, or a single parent with either child should spend time giving their preadolescent a basic understanding of what’s coming before these exciting transitions begin. Make it fun and take them on a weekend get-a way. Help your child prepare for these changes in a proactive and positive way. Click below to set up a time to visit with a member from our team to find out more about parenting through this phase.
Next Steps
Here are some practical ideas to get you started:
- Schedule a time to meet with someone from our preteen ministry team.
- Set aside special time or plan a trip with your preteen to go through one of the recommended resources for joint discussion.
- Have fun! Your preteen is more likely to listen and be open with you if you’ve established a strong relationship by creating enjoyable times together.
Additional Resources
Let Go and Run Beside: Essentials of Intentional Preteen Ministry by Sean Sweet
Caught in Between: Engage Your Preteens Before They Check Out by Dan Scott
The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality by Luke Gilkerson
Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp
Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn
Five Conversations You Must Have series by Vicki Courtney
Passport2Purity by Family Life - So You’re About to be a Teenager by Dennis & Barbara Rainey
Screen Kids by Arelene Pellicane
Five to Thrive by Kathy Koch
Early Adolescence FAQs for Parents
- Every child is different, but it’s time to discuss purity if any of the following are true:
- Your adolescent shows interest in having a girlfriend or boyfriend.
- You notice texts, emails, social media posts, etc., from the opposite sex.
- Your child has any sort of online access, including a home computer, mobile phone, iPod Touch, iPad, or other electronic devices.
- Go on a shopping trip together and discuss fashion and basic guidelines for determining modesty. Let her go through the list and express what she’s comfortable with. Areas to discuss might include:
- Length of shorts/skirts: Fingertip length is a common standard.
- Proper ways to sit.
- Swimsuit styles: One-piece or two? How low on the top? How low on the bottom?
- Choosing tops: What’s too tight? Too loose? Is cleavage covered when bending forward?
- Set a time to discuss the following questions with them:
- What is a healthy/appropriate amount of time to spend online each day?
- How will you avoid giving the appearance that you’re someone you’re not?
- Why is it easy to get caught up in what we post or comparing ourselves to what others are doing?
- What kinds of pictures are or aren’t appropriate to post? (e.g., swimsuit or pajama pictures, photos showing too much skin, etc.)
- Emphasize the importance of never responding to someone online whom they don’t know in person.
- Even if you believe your child isn’t yet tempted, take the following proactive steps:
- Don’t allow your child to have a computer or TV in their room.
- If they have a mobile device, have them leave it in the kitchen by a certain time each night.
- Limit and monitor text messages.
- Be mindful of the shows you watch with your child to avoid sending mixed messages.
- Check online parent reviews for content details on any movies, music, and TV shows they want to watch. Check out this resource.
- Set controls and accountability on all TVs, computers, phones, and other electronic devices in your home using services such as:
- covenanteyes.com
- xxxchurch.com
- qustodio.com
- vidangel.com
- As your child enters adolescence, it becomes crucial to introduce them to the example and influence of other godly adults, some of whom may become important voices in their life as they continue on the Parent Path. Consider these suggestions:
- Start with extended family, including grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. Invite godly relatives to take an interest in your child’s activities by attending their concerts, games, award assemblies, etc. Encourage them to invite your child to breakfast or ice cream occasionally to connect and speak into their life.
- When you eat meals with Christian friends, invite your adolescent to sit at the adult table rather than with the kids. Including them in these conversations can help establish a bond with other godly adults.
- Introduce yourself to the student pastor and/or small group leader and ask who they consider to be godly leaders and volunteers in the student ministry program. You might also consider volunteering in the student ministry to get to know other adult leaders who might take a special interest in your child.
For more ideas on inviting the influence of other adults into your child’s life, read Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof.
Are you wondering how to help your child get to their next phase of spiritual maturity as they grow as a disciple? We would love to meet with you.
Hannah Bush
KIDS PASTOR
Crystal Hughes
PRETEEN MINISTRY ASSOCIATE